Your Expectations Will Cause You Disappointment
I don’t enjoy talking negatively in any way; it serves no purpose and only prolongs the disappointment. This week I’ve had a couple of occasions where I’ve felt let down by people around me and try as I may to let sleeping dogs lie, sometimes even I get thrown by it.
The one thing I’ve learnt is that disappointment is always down to how I perceive the situation and my expectations of others. And there reaches a time when you don’t even want to give people the benefit of the doubt.
So what can you do when people let you down?
Become Aware Of Your Expectations
The thing is you can’t go around having no expectations of others, it’s not realistic. What you can do is be aware of these expectations and be prepared that you may very well be let down when they are not met.
Do not Cling to Expectations
Becoming aware of your expectations helps you to deal with them not being met. And when they are not met, you get the choice of what to do.
You should try to not cling to your expectations. That doesn’t mean you let people walk all over you, it doesn’t mean you lower your expectations, it just means you give yourself the option of letting it go and walking away.
Be Prepared to Let People Go
And here’s a big one. We spend so much time in our relationships, be it close intimate ones or friendships clinging and attaching that when we are let down, we can’t break away.
We would much rather stay, fight it out, try to make the other person what we want them to be and then start to lose faith in ourselves.
Why do we do that?
Because the alternative is to walk away from people who no longer serve you. And that means starting to accept that people are not constants in your life, some stay, some go and some you may choose to leave.
Why do People Let You Down?
I had to think about this one over the week. Why is it that in the end even people you think you know so well turn out to be nothing like what you had imagined?
How can you not see who that person really is?
I came to the conclusion that sometimes our need for someone to be a certain way is so great that we ignore what’s right in front of us. We make excuses, we make compromises until we either lower our expectations so much that actually now they meet them or we start to get resentful.
And what does all this stem from?
Yes fear of being alone
Fear that you are not good enough to have such high expectations
Fear of there being nothing better than this or this person
Fear of being different in case you don’t fit in with the crowd
Let’s end on a more positive note.
Once you learn to accept that people will let you down, such is life. Once you learn to stop clinging to your expectations of people, start to become less attached and allow people to pass through your life, then you enter a whole different ball game.
Then you engage with people authentically.
But more importantly you will learn that the only one that can let you down is the person who looks back at you in the mirror. Hold that person up to the highest expectations for this is the person who will always be there for you.