When you look back at your life it is clear that not everything went according to plan.

In my case that is definitely true. I used to have lots of plans for my life but not many worked out that way. In the end though I know that things usually worked out better than I had planned, or perhaps it’s just my ability to adapt to the changes that made it better?

In the last couple of years, following my redundancy and divorce I’ve tried to put a plan in place for my new life. The problem has been that because so much of my life had changed it was difficult to see a clear way forward. I would jump from one idea to another, it was all about experimenting, eliminating and testing out. To a certain extent it’s still like this and I guess that’s what life is about.

The one thing that I have learnt is that having the courage to change course is what it takes to create a life on your terms. At times it can be extremely difficult because you think once you’ve made a commitment you must stick to it. But who says that? Who’s voice are you listening to?

The beauty of living a single life is that there is nobody else to consider, your life, your choices.

Why do we stick to a course in our life, even though we know it doesn’t feel right?

  •  I think that the first thing that keeps us stuck on a course in our life that we know deep inside is not right for us is that it’s just easier. We stick to what is familiar because changing will take us to places that are unfamiliar and uncomfortable.
  • One that is particularly close for me is that I feel that once I’ve said I will do something then I must do it. I’ve struggled with this lately but now made a commitment to myself that I will do as I please, even if that completely contradicts what I may have said yesterday, last week or last year.
  • And a big one for me is admitting that I was wrong. It hurts the ego that’s for sure. But being wrong is probably not the right way to see it. And letting go of ego is one step in the right direction in anycase.

Accept that what was right for you yesterday may not be right for you today and that is perfectly fine.

  • Fear – it keeps us paralised, avoiding change, avoiding getting out of our comfort zone and to an extent avoiding life. I have become familiar with fear. I don’t avoid it because I know it will present itself to me every time I have to make a choice and make a change. Sometimes it will stall me for a while but in the end I go on blind faith and jump through it. Once that first step is made, the rest comes naturally.

self compassion

In the end we don’t have all the answers, we don’t know if we are on the right course all the time and accepting this can be the first step to living life in this moment. With no attachment to an outcome because we always get what is right for us, when we are ready to accept it.