Letting go is easy when you understand that Nothing is Permanent

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My experience has taught me that the most harmful thing we can do to ourselves is to cling to things, people and situations because we live in this state of thinking everything is permanent.

We spend most of our lives building relationships and creating a life that we believe will always be there to hold us together. But things do change, people change, everything around us is changing right in front of our eyes and it doesn’t matter how much we try to ignore it, it will never be the same again.

So why do we spend so much time resisting change?

Why do we not see that nothing is permanent when it is so obvious?

The simple answer is of course Fear, it’s the number one reason that most people stay stuck in situations that are not healthy and worse that are abusive. Slowly and over time they talk themselves into believing that change is just not possible, this is it.

Sometimes though, the staying the same is just not good enough. I’m one of the lucky ones in that change has never really been something that scared me, well not enough to keep me from taking the leap. I guess some of it stems from my family background, coming from an immigrant family sort of sets you up for accepting change. After all for your parents to leave their homeland and family in search of something better instills that way of thinking.

I think the most profound messages on this subject is covered in the book The Top Five Regrets of the Dying: A Life Transformed by the Dearly Departing Not one of materialistic regret, yet what do we spend most of our lives trying to achieve? The book lists the following as the top five regrets of the dying:

  1. I wish I’d had the courage to live a life true to myself, not the life others expected of me.
  2. I wish I hadn’t worked so hard.
  3. I wish I’d had the courage to express my feelings.
  4. wish I had stayed in touch with my friends.
  5. wish I had stayed in touch with my friends.

The thing is you can become happier if you learn to let go of the idea that change is bad, difficult or dangerous. Nothing is Permanent, not even you are. You are not the person you were when you were a child, a teenager or even a mature grown up ten years ago.

So how can you accept change and live a happier freer life?

Stepping out of your head for a while, step into your heart, listen to what it’s telling you. It’s usually right but you have to really listen.