In life we tend to cling to things, people and situations and then have a hard time letting to. This clinging to and holding on to a person, a feeling, an expectation is what causes us so much pain.
We have all these expectations in life, about people and how we want things to be. We try to control even manipulate so that we can make it just how we want it. If we didn’t have this kind of preference, then we would be less likely to be let down.
In our relationships we build a picture of the people in our lives. We want them to be a certain way, treat us in a particular way but as soon as they don’t fulfill these expectations we feel let down. Often the other person isn’t even aware of what it is they may or may not have done to let us down because they are just being themselves. You on the other hand were hoping for and expecting something else. Again, if we didn’t have these expectations then we would not be let down.
And this creates a circle of pain for us. We want things a certain way, we strive for it, we work hard for it and we spend our lives in a constant battle trying to make everything fit our expectations and preferences.
I guess the privilege of age is that life has shown you time and time again, that there is no control.
It’s not a matter of letting go – you would if you could. Instead of “Let it go” we should probably say “Let it be” – Jon Kabat Zinn.
Here Jon Kabat Zinn makes an excellent point. Perhaps if we can learn to just let things be, rather than jumping in and trying to control or change, eventually the letting go just happens.
And practicing to sit with whatever disturbing thoughts you have in meditation, is a process of letting go by letting everything just be.
Letting Go, Letting Be and Surrendering Through Meditation
When we meditate we experience letting go and surrendering at it’s most basic level. The very experience of breathing in and then breathing out is all about letting go. The body breaths in without any effort and let’s go naturally, we don’t need to control it.
Meditation is also about sitting with feelings and thoughts as they arise, without trying to judge them or change them. And here lies the practice of just letting it be.
In this video Oprah Winfrey shares her personal story about letting go and surrendering. You can replace god with whatever you believe, it really doesn’t matter. The point is that once you learn to let go and just surrender beautiful things start to happen.