You can’t literally re-write your past, facts and events can’t change. What can change however is the story you tell yourself about your past and in that sense you can re-write your past. You may want to read the previous post about Letting Go of the Past.
My Re-Write Story
After my divorce I avoided places and people that I closely associated with my past. It felt uncomfortable thinking about going to these places or speaking to people that knew us both. I also felt a little embarrassed having to keep explaining my story.
I dreaded going back to Cyprus, where we had lived for years and two of my children were born. The first time I went back on my own was not a good experience, I felt very out of place and the memories were all negative. I couldn’t bring myself to think anything good about my time in Cyprus.
Time is a Healer – But Only If We Are Willing To Do The Work
Yes of course as time passes we learn to adjust to our new life, in time we settle and life goes on. But to truly move on, to really let go of the past, you must do the work. You have to go deep inside and explore, question and get to know everything within you.
Time can be a healer or it can just act to cover up what don’t want to see. Being a mindfulness practitioner gives me no choice but to explore my mind and the stories I tell myself. So I tend to feel something then explore what’s behind it, that can be a difficult process but liberating when you get through it.
Next Visit To Cyprus Was Very Different
The next time I went to Cyprus things were different. I noticed that places had changed yet they were still very familiar. I started to feel happy to remember my children growing up there, seeing their school, the beach they played on and even remembering being with my ex-husband.
Because the truth is that then everything was as it was supposed to be and now everything is as it is supposed to be. It’s not sad to look back at the past because there were some unhappy times but equally if not more, there were some happy times.
What’s changed is that I am now able to relate to the past in a different way. I’ve let go of the anger and replaced it with a sense of joy for my new freedom. I guess I’m grateful for the chance to live how I want without having to consider someone else. I am grateful for the new life I am living, the opportunities that now lay ahead and for all the new people I meet.
The past is what it was, equally as important as the present because without fully experiencing the past, you can not be fully aware of the possibilities in every moment.
So I re-wrote my past by changing how I relate to it. I respect it for what it taught me, for the chance to have a beautiful family and for the strength it helped me build within myself. How could I possibly see that in a negative way?