If you are anything like me I bet you are always pushing aside your own needs for the sake of others. Today I had a lazy day, not much writing, not great with my mindfulness practice, no exercise and think I may even have over done the food thing.
Normally I would be feeling guilty right now, be having a very negative conversation with myself and being very harsh. But not anymore, fortunately mindfulness has taught me how to be kind to myself and how to give myself what I need.
Being aware of your feelings and moods helps you to connect with yourself and give yourself what you need. Only you can really know what you need on a specific day or at a specific time, what is the point of waiting for your needs to be filled by external things or other people?
Connecting with yourself – Being aware of your thoughts and feelings.
If you’ve been through a tough patch or going through one right now, then putting yourself first is essential for survival. There can be a tendency after a while to just think you are ok, the worst is over and everything is just normal. Then out of the blue you’ll have a day that makes you feel like your back to square one. There is nothing wrong with that, don’t dwell on it just accept it for what it is, a down day; who doesn’t have those?
I know that people who have lost a loved one often say that after a while people assume that everything is forgotten, you know that somehow your loss is over because time has healed it. But that’s never the case, people don’t just get over losing someone close, they just learn how to live with it until it becomes who they are.
A divorce, breakup or separation is a bit different in that you have a whole different line of thoughts to deal with and yes over time they start to go away but sometimes you will be reminded of things, then bang here we go again. For me it’s usually to do with all the hard work I have to put in to recreate my life, as I want it. Sometimes I just want the easy way out and then I get a little resentful. You know the “why me?” story.
So when you have one of those days when you just feel like you can’t do very much, then give yourself a break, be lazy if you want to, do nothing if you want to. If you need it then it’s what you need and that’s perfect for you right now.
Do I feel bad that I had an unproductive day? No because I just spent a bit of a lazy day with my family, enjoyed their company and got a lot out of it. That’s what I needed today and I gave myself permission to do it!