madonna quote

These last few weeks have sparked some interesting conversations about women and their role in society. Some key roles are now taken up by women, including our new prime minster Theresa May.

In spite of all the progress we women have made we are still labeled as the caring, soft touch, put everyone else first gender. We are here to fix everyone, to look after everyone and to make sure everyone else is happy. The problem with this is that these labels are what stop us from asking for what we want. We are brought up to make sure we think of others first, after all science says we are the caring gender right?

I’m not saying that asking for what you want is only a gender issue but it is something that has affected me personally, so I am writing from my perspective. Actually here I go again being polite, so maybe I should bite the bullet and say what’s really on my mind, remove the niceties and just be straight up.

The Labels We Attach to Women

I always struggled with the labels attached to me because I am a woman and for much of my  young life I tried to stay out of the box. In the end I did what I always thought I’d never do, I got married, had children and fit into the role I was supposed to. I guess I gave up fighting and lost myself to what was expected of me.

When I was young I spoke my mind, played with toy cars and enjoyed playing football with the boys. In those days a girls ambition was often limited to dreams of one day wearing a sparkling wedding dress and  then living happy ever after. I on the other hand dared to have big dreams that did not involve getting married. I hated wearing girly clothes and didn’t do fashion for fashions sake. Well at least I kept true to my own fashion style. I was often called a “tomboy”  and that used to play on my mind when growing up. The connotation was that somehow I wasn’t “normal” what if I couldn’t find a good man to marry? Now that would have been a tragedy!lose myself

Just to clarify I don’t regret having children, they mean the world to me but I can’t say what my life would have been like if I had lived true to me. Who knows? I’m not even saying most women don’t want to have children, what I’m saying is in a way we have little choice when it is drummed into us from babies!

Why Do We Struggle to Ask For What We Want?

In the end what happens to us women is that over the years we are broken. We know very well how to be there for our friends and family. What we don’t do so well is learn to look after number one. We are not as important because we are the caring gender as we are told from birth!  We are so well conditioned that we don’t even know it bothers us when it does!

And as soon as a woman begins to ask for what she wants, then there’s other labels to give her. And Madonna say’s it very well –

“I’m tough, I’m ambitious, and know exactly what I want. If that makes me a bitch okay!”