Self discovery seems to take up a lot of time in our life. There seems to be an assumption that you must search for you because you do not know who you are. So you go along this journey you call life collecting various labels to attach to in order to gain a sense of identity, a sense of who you are. I am a woman, a mother, a grandmother. I am intelligent because I have a degree. I am Greek, I am British and whatever else I have identified myself with over the course of the years.
What happens when one of these labels no longer fits? Well from my experience, you lose a sense of who you are. You then try to find new labels, new ways of gaining an understanding of who you are. But what if you just stopped for a minute and paid attention to who you are, what if you removed all the labels and looked at yourself authentically.
What if you stopped asking who am I and just allowed yourself to be?
Everything in the universe is within you. Ask all from yourself – Rumi
When you go about your life in search of an identity you lose the essence of life. You are always searching, trying to find something outside of you that can fit and make you feel whole. When you are feeling empty or something seems to be missing, the assumption is that you can nurture that feeling with something outside of you. But the reality is that all that you are is already within you, only when you connect with yourself can you fill that void.
The problem I guess for many of us is that this idea of not searching, not looking for more than what we already are, is difficult to understand. The idea that you are who you are, that’s it. No need to search or try to explain or even discover. After all if you are all that you are, right there, then self discovery is not necessary.
Firstly try having a heart to heart conversation with yourself. Yes it may sound a little crazy but give it a go every now and again. Oh and remember to listen to the answers. Don’t change the answers to sound better or even deny what comes up, just listen without judgment.
Complete and utter self acceptance. Sounds hard to do doesn’t it? After all aren’t we always told we should be self improving? Doesn’t that mean that we should never just accept who we are? I’d argue that we are perfect as we are, accepting that is a empowering place to be. Does that mean you have to accept that you can’t evolve into a person with higher awareness? No it doesn’t but it does mean that whatever you want to be is already present within you.
Self acceptance also means that you accept that you are not perfect, that nobody is perfect, that life itself is not perfect and with that acceptance find peace with the things that are not as you wish them to be.
And this means that we just live our lives without trying to be anything or anyone, just living.
How Do You Just Live?
Isn’t it funny how the simple things become so complicated when you start to think about it? How do you just live? How do you just be who you are?
The main thing is to come out of your head. To begin let go of the thoughts you attach to about who you or are not. Start paying attention to these thoughts and perhaps work on letting go of any attachments you may have to labels about yourself. And just live – no identity needed.
Thought it would also be great to share this post where Lady Gaga talks about the power of saying no and how she started to find herself again.
You are not your thoughts and you are not the product of your thoughts – Alan Finger